The Melodies of the Seed Harvest

Listening to the melodic moans of a young man as he harvests his warm seed is indeed one of life's true pleasures. There are few other sounds that drive an emotional stake deep into my heart. If you are alone and in a quiet place, please turn up the volume and drown with me in the sounds of the harvest.

La Isla del Encanto

Our latest Phallic Patron hails from sunny Puerto Rico, a delightful semi-autonomous territory of the United States located in the northeastern Caribbean. This enchanting territory is composed of an archipelago that includes the main island of Puerto Rico and a number of smaller islands and keys.  

Although I have yet to visit Puerto Rico, I have been fortunate enough to have the pleasure of sampling the Phalli of a number of its sons.  There is definitely something to be said for a fully prepuce laden Puerto Rican Phallus in its religiously erect state making its rounds of one's orifices.  There is an undeniable thickness to the Puerto RIcan Phallus.  Those of you who have tasted will know the thickness of which I speak.

Given my history with the Puerto Rican Phallus, therefore, it is not surprising that I was thrilled when Richard, a 30 year old son of Puerto Rico, contacted me with the kind offer to share his delightfully thick Caribbean Phallus with us all.  Shall we take a peek at what our newest Phallic Patron has to offer?

Richard is indeed a find.  His Phallus is thrillingly handsome and I look forward to sharing my review of its splendor with you in detail tomorrow.  Until then, my dears, enjoy these pictures of Richard and his Puerto Rican Phallus.

An Italian Encore

For those of you who may have doubted it, let me be quite clear; there are few things in life that I adore more than the rigid Phallus of an Italian buried deep within my person.

Due to the stunning beauty of its magnificent countryside, the mouth-watering deliciousness of its food, and the sheer abundance of well-endowed and sexually frustrated young farmers and manual laborers willing to pleasure a woman of advancing years, it is no surprise that Italy often appears on my international travel itinerary.

As many of you may be aware, I enjoy being serviced by young men who are willing to lose themselves to an experienced older woman. There are young men in abundance who fit this description in La Bella Italia. On my last visit to Florence, I stayed in a delightful little farmhouse in the Comune di Cerreto Guidi, a deliciously picturesque municipality located 30 km west of Florence. One of my dearest friends, Fabressa, a native of the area, arranged for nightly visits by many of the young men of the local village. Furtive knocks on my farmhouse door often gave way to energetic and urgent thrusts of a young and religiously erect Italian Phallus. I do love a young Italian Phallus, it must be said.

I was reminded of my penchant for Italian Phalli recently when I opened my little email box to find a lovely missive from the ever delightful, ever enchanting Carlo, our 39 year old Phallic Patron from the Lombardy Region of Northern Italy. For those of you who may not remember Carlo, perhaps an aide-mémoire would be helpful. Here are a few photographs of dear Carlo and his mouth-watering Italian Missive.



I have touched myself on innumerable occasions, imagining all the while how it might feel to take Carlo's Italian Phallus gently into my mouth and milk it with my lips and tongue. It wets me to imagine such deliciousness. Carlo has been kind enough to send Mrs. Candy several more photographs of his Phallus and, to my delight, a number of photographs of his bottom. My second favorite dish in Italy after the Italian Phallus is, as you may have guessed, the Italian Anus. I could hibernate for an entire winter in Carlos' Italian bottom.

Although he has not seen fit to open up and let us transition to a view of his anus proper, I am sure it is pert, pink, and ever so inviting. One can only imagine - unless of course we are able to convince dear Carlo to spread those Cheeks of Lombardy for our naughty viewing pleasure. We are bad, it must be said. However, it is the small joys in life for which we live is it not, my dears? Yes, I do believe it is. If you wish to encourage Carlo to show us more, please leave a comment. Carlo is a real delight and, if I am not mistaken, might be willing to consider photographic requests from readers of The Perfect Phallus.

Without further ado, let us examine Carlo's latest offerings to Mrs. Candy and her ever growing bevy of filthy readers. Please click on the images if you wish to see them close up. It is worth it, I can assure you. Getting close and personal with Carlo and his Italian assets is an utter pleasure, one which is guaranteed to facilitate a pleasurable stirring in one's loins.





Seven inches of thick, virile Italian Phallus, a delicious hairy torso, a wonderfully succulent bottom, and a full and proper Phallic Garden. Honestly, my dears, together with wine, delicious food and a little music, what more could one ask for to bring one joy on this earthly plain.

For those of you who may wish to contact Carlo directly, you may do so by sending him an email. I am certain he would enjoy hearing from should you be moved by his Phallus to write in appreciation.

Update - April 25th, 2008

Carlo is such a giving soul. He has graciously listened to the calls for a more full and frank disclosure of the beauty that lies between the peachy cheeks of his lovely Italian bottom. The beauty of Carlo's Lombardy Sphincter is now revealed to us.

It is more delicious than I had previously imagined. It is hairy and frightfully manly in its aspect. Yet, in the same breath, it is sweet and feminine in its pinkish softness. It calls out for the wetness of my tongue and perhaps the collective tongues of our readers. How many of you would like to love Carlo's sphincter with your mouth? Dare I say, hundreds of you might need little convincing to dive right in and give Carlo's manly anus a little loving, something the anus of every man deserves and needs. For those male readers among you who have had yet to experience the pleasures of having your anus bathed by a warm and willing mouth, I suggest you try it tout d'suite. Once tried, turning back is not an option.

Click the image for a more intimate view
Lick the screen if you wish

Thank you, my dear Carlo, for graciously opening your beautiful anus for our viewing pleasure. It is a delight for us all. We are complete.

Australia - A Phallic Vacation

Apologies for the silence, my dears, but I have had my hands full! I am currently on vacation in Australia, a country whose men are more often not hung like donkeys. I have been here for two weeks and have already enjoyed nine slabs of prime Aussie Phallus. I have some delicious stories to tell when I return to New York next Thursday.

In addition, I am pleased to report that I have received a number of new Phallic Submissions which I will be examining as soon as I return home. Hopefully, one or more of them will be fit for your exceedingly discerning Phallic tastes.

Finally, please do not forget my Pubic Hair Policy when submitting your Phallus for my review. I do not accept men who shave their pubic hair in toto. A nicely manicured crotch on a man is always a delight to behold - but an entirely shaved crotch is an abomination. I know that I tend to harp on about this issue, but I simply cannot abide a man without pubic hair. Call me old fashioned if you will. I am a lady of a certain age with views about such matters that are ingrained.

Always
Mrs. Candy
xxx

Mrs. Candy Wants Your Cock!

It is time once again to call for new submissions for Mrs. Candy's Perfect Phallus. Here are the various filthy categories for which you are encouraged to submit. Submissions may be made to multiple categories.

Phallic Patrons - This category is, of course, our most important. We are seeking Phallic Patrons from all corners of the globe. We are interested in all races and nationalities. Of particular interest to us are Black Phalli, Asian Phalli, and Middle Eastern Phalli. These categories are currently underrepresented. Phalli submitted are not selected according to overall length. A range of factors are taken into account, and length is not one of them.

In order to be considered as a Phallic Patron, please take a moment to review the Phallic Submission Guidelines.

A Phallic Patron before the Pubic Hair Rule was instituted

Please remember that all submissions must be accompanies by a Phallic Note to Mrs. Candy. Examples of such Phallic Notes are shown above. Those submissions without Phallic Notes will not be considered.

Mrs. Candy's Autofellatio Club - Currently, we have five members. Men who are able to pleasure themselves orally fascinate me beyond description. If you are one of these men, please do join our club. We would like to see membership to Mrs. Candy's Autofellatio Club reach at least 20 members by the end of 2008.

Phallic Tributes - This category continues to remain close to Mrs. Candy's heart. Unfortunately, however, too few Phallic Tributes have been made. This is terribly disappointing, particularly given the fact that a Phallic Tribute is an excellent way to pay tribute to our Phallic Patrons. More Phallic Tributes from our gay readers, please!! More additional details, please click here.

The Phallic Clinic - Dr. Ray is now available to take your questions about your Phallus and/or your feelings about your Phallus or your sexuality. See the right hand sidebar for details.

Mrs. Candy's Hot Buns - a category for men who enjoy exposing their anus for the viewing pleasure of others. The anus does not often receive the admiration that it rightly deserves. Indeed, as I am fond of telling anyone who will listen, the anus of a man is a place one should spend considerable time exploring. For those of you who wish to allow us to explore your anus, this is the category for you!

Phallic Interviews - We wish to continue the Phallic Interview series this year. We are looking to interview people in the following categories: (a) those who practice receptive bareback anal sex, (b) those who frequent darkrooms, saunas, or public restrooms for casual sexual encounters, (c) those who are attending therapy for sexual addiction, and (d) those who masturbate in public on a regular basis.

The Van Gogh Boys - a section dedicated to men with red hair. I have long held the belief, a belief which is supported by my oceans of experience, that men with red hair are hung like farm animals. Young Prince Harry Windsor comes to mind. Given this knowledge, I felt it right and proper to create a category for red heads and their monolithic Phalli of Fire.

Young Cam, one of our Phallic Patrons!!

Mrs. Candy's Mirror Boys - Narcissus goes 21st Century. Mrs. Candy's Mirror Boys is for those who may not wish to submit themselves to a full Phallic Review but wish to have themselves exposed on The Perfect Phallus. All you need is a digital camera, a mirror, and a Phallus! Get snapping and release the Narcissus within!

Phallic Treats - A new section of the website where we accept macro shots of your Phallus covered in your favorite food or condiment. Dora, and several others I am sure, is rather peckish just thinking about the possibilities! For more information, click here.

I do hope that this most recent call for submissions is greeted with a wondrous response. Don't be shy, my dears. Pull down your pants, whip out the gift God gave you, and start clicking away for Mrs. Candy and her rabid readers. All submissions, Phallic or otherwise, should be sent by email to Mrs. Candy.

Happy Birthday to Us!

It's our 2nd birthday!! The Perfect Phallus has been bringing you delicious amateur cock from around the globe for exactly two years.

As we speak, teams of computer programmers and web designers toil away on a new and improved version of The Perfect Phallus. The finished product, which I hope to launch by September 2008, is going to blow your socks off. There will be nowhere else on the world wide web like it. The new website will be the most wondrous place on the internet dedicated to the beauty and majesty of , and communion with, the Phallus. Watch this space for more updates as we move closer to the launch date.

I would like to thank all of you for visiting this website. It is thrilling to me to know that every day upwards of 8,000 visitors come here to revel in the wonders of the Phallus - more than the number of people who visit the Anfiteatro Flavio in Roma! Phallus Maximus, indeed!